Showing posts with label Margarita. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Margarita. Show all posts

Monday, May 27, 2013

Drink 202: The First Straw


Not actual size

It has been almost nine months since our last entry at TBIAW.  If rumors are true, that is just about enough time to grow and hatch a baby. When you put it into that kind of context, this entry will seem even more deficient than it would have otherwise.

We thought we were out of the blogging business, but we saw something recently that required us to jump back in, if only temporarily.  What was that thing? It was the Bud Light Lime STRAW-BER-RITA Margarita with a Twist. It seems almost impossible that it was less than a year ago that we discovered the Bud Light Lime LIME-A-RITA and now they have a strawberry version.



We had seen it once or twice before, but the other day we were at our local wine and beer emporium and that 24 ounce can was just sitting there in the cooler between the Bartles & Jaymes and the Four Loko asking to be purchased.  We bit the bullet and did so even with the knowledge that it would invite ridicule from the checkout boy. Which it did.

Thank goodness they had instructions right on the can. With pictures.

For the last two weeks that can has been staring us in the face every time we open the fridge but we resisted the temptation.  But seeing as today was Memorial Day, we could think of no greater to way to honor our fallen servicemen and servicewomen than to catch a buzz on some All American malt beverage with natural flavors, artificial sweetener and artificial color.  USA USA! (Ed note: The authors choose to willfully ignore the fact that Budweiser is owned by the Belgian/Brazilian InBev.)

The instructions worked!

Mrs. Bottle made the mistake of eating an actual strawberry before trying her Bud Light Lime STRAW-BER-RITA Margarita. As a result she thought it didn’t taste very strawberry-y. I thought it had a reasonable artificially sweetened artificial strawberry flavor, though.  Kind of like a Nehi that will get you plowed eventually.  After Mrs. Bottle cleansed her palate with some Tostitos, she agreed. And right now she is dancing in the kitchen singing Journey's "Who's Crying Now?" so the alcohol must work, too. 



Overall Rating for Bud Light Lime STRAW-BER-RITA




Taste: 3
Presentation: 3
Ease of Preparation: 5
Drinks Until Blackout: 5

Ingredients

Malt Beverage
Natural Flavors
Artificial Sweetener
Artificial Color

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Drink 199: Lovely 'Rita, Easy Made


Recent studies have shown that 100% of Americans are out of shape (see fig. 1).  Other studies have also shown that Mrs. Bottle and I both love margaritas.  So much so that we have reviewed them no less than five times, not counting the Blue Margarita, but definitely including our most recent post.   

Study consisted of survey of one adult
male located on the Bottle Wonderland Estate.
Margin of error +/- 100%
Although we consider ourselves citizens of the world, we are technically Americans and therefore out of shape. Therefore we have been seeking low calorie margaritas.  Something that is easy to make would be nice, too.  Unrelated side note: Laziness and fitness are highly correlated.

Our last drink, the Bud Light Lime LIME-A-RITA, met the criterion “easy to make” but at 220 calories per 8 oz it feel completely short in the “light” category.  Our next entry is Crystal Light Margarita.  In case you didn’t know, Crystal Light is essentially the same thing as sugar free Kool-Aid.  As far as I can tell, the only difference between the two is the mascot.  Kool-Aid has Kool-Aid Man, and Crystal Light has Linda Evans:



I apologize for not posting this early enough for you to get your free Crystal Light Body Workout on record or audiocassette.  The offer expired on June 24.  1984. 

Last time we used fake Instagram effects.
This time it is the real deal.
Also notice the expert use of terrible lighting.
The Crystal Light Margarita has only five calories per serving (a 25% increase over their 1984 recipe!!).  The flavor isn’t bad.  It is a reasonable approximation of a margarita.   Plus it has no sugar, which is apparently destroying my immune system. The only thing I’m not sure about is why it is listed in the “Mocktails” section of the Crystal Light website.  When Mrs. Bottle brings me one it is loaded with tequila.

Overall Rating for Crystal Light Margarita




Taste: 3
Presentation: 3
Ease of Preparation: 4
Drinks Until Blackout: 4

Ingredients

Crystal Light
Water
Tequila (to taste)




Sunday, July 8, 2012

Drink 198: I do not think it means what you think it means


So I was wandering through one of the dozen Target stores within 10 minutes of the Bottle Wonderland Estate yesterday stocking up on cat litter, coffee pods, and household cleaner and I noticed something glorious: Bud Light Lime LIME-A-RITA.  “Wait, what?” is what any rational person would be thinking right now.  Most of our readers will have to trust me on that.



Bud Light Lime Lime-A-Rita
I was going to "green screen"
the background but decided
to go with fake Instagram effects


Well, according to the box, Bud Light Lime LIME-A-RITA is “FLAVORED BEER.”  Yum!  One thing I am looking for in a beer is some flavor.  I shot Mrs. Bottle a knowing glance and she returned it. We immediately flung a 12 pack into our cart and sprinted to the checkout. We hadn’t been this simpatico since our decision to give up exercise and let our bodies just take the form God intended.
Bud Light Lime Lime-A-Rita
See?

We drove home with the intention of putting these bad boys into our blast chiller to rapidly cool them and enjoy some a little later.  Then I noticed that it says right on the box to “try it over ice” so upon our arrival back at the Estate we decided to immediately tear into the package and have some over ice.  As directed by the box.

Bud Light Lime Lime-A-Rita
If this didn't have so many
kick-ass effects you
would see how my hand
dwarfs the can. You might
also be able to read where
it says "220 Calories"
After the foam settled, I took a big gulp delicate sip. It actually didn’t taste horrible, but I don’t know that there is much difference between drinking this stuff and drinking Zima.  Well, there are a couple of subtle differences:  Alcohol-wise it comes in at 8%, which puts it between a Zima and a Four Loko.  It is packaged in dainty 8 oz cans, too, so you can fit several into your murse, which is nice.

I tried to rationalize this by thinking it could make a tolerable summertime drink when I didn’t have time to whip up a batch of authentic margaritas.   It is made from Bud Light, so at least it will be low calorie, right?  WRONG!  That dinky 8oz can has 220 calories.  220!  That is more calories than a Krispy Kreme doughnut, for Pete’s sake!   Heck, it is 104 more calories than a 12oz Bud Light Lime beer.  Which also has flavor.

I had to learn more so I went to their web site.  Here is the entire contents of the “About” page:

Introducing Lime-A-Rita

The refreshing ready-to-drink margarita with a twist of Bud Light Lime.

Look for it wherever Bud Light Lime is sold!

Now I feel totally informed.


Overall Rating for Bud Light Lime LIME-A-RITA




Taste: 4
Presentation: 2
Ease of Preparation: 5
Drinks Until Blackout: 5

Ingredients

Margarita
Twist of Bud Light Lime
Calories



Saturday, May 14, 2011

There Will Be Blog

You may have noticed it has now been over a week since Mrs. Bottle and I have updated TBIAW.   I know at least one person noticed, because she asked me if the blog was done.  I can say to her now, “no, it is not done.”   The proof is that this is a new post.  I can also assure her that when TBIAW ends, we won’t just stop posting. It will go out in a blaze of glory. Hopefully it will end up with the government seizing the domain.

You might be thinking that it has been so long since we posted because we have been lazily lounging around with our feet up sipping tropical drinks.  You could not be more wrong.  We were actually on our most extensive TBIAW investigation to-date.  It was pure coincidence that the investigation happened to involve lounging around with our feet up sipping tropical drinks.

Look good, but how do they taste?
You may recall from our recent Cinco de Mayo post that we were highly confused as to why the English Highball was so popular in Mexico.  We also promised that the next time we were in Mexico that we would ask around.  In order to get to the bottom of this mystery, we decided to go to Mexico and do some lounging digging.  I’ll cut to the chase and tell you that while we were there that we forgot to ask anyone about the English Highball.  It may have had something to do with the sun, the sand, and the tropical drinks but I can’t be certain.  It may require a return trip for further investigation.

We did learn a few things on our trip, though:
  • Tipping in pesos is disconcerting.  As of today, $1 US = 11.73 Mexican pesos.  So if you have a bill that is $30 US it is about 352 pesos.  That means when the bill comes in pesos, a 20% tip is just over 70 pesos.  Every time I left a tip of that size I had to really think about it to make sure it was right.  Again, I don’t think this had anything to do with the number of drinks you can have for 352 pesos since at our resort it was about 2.7.
  • In Mexico, Corona is a domestic beer, and Budweiser is an import
  • Hiring a photographer for a professional photo shoot is apparently very popular.  We saw this several times while there, but the best had to be the very pregnant woman doing romantic shots around the pool with her significant other.  She just edged out the tattooed woman rolling around in the sand making “erotic” poses.
  • It doesn’t matter if you use the mini-bar or not, they will try to charge you for it.

"Remember, you are posing for two"
Ostensibly this is a blog about drinking.  Don’t worry, we didn’t forget about that.  Sadly, drinks at the resort were for the most part sub-par.  We tried several different ones so we could let our readers know which were good. We tried Margaritas, Blue Margaritas, Sea Breezes, Mojitos, Cuba Libres, Mimosas, Strawberry Daiquiris, Mai Tais, and Vodka Tonics, and Gin & Tonics.  That might sound like a lot of drinks, but we are very dedicated to this blog.  Several of the drinks were downright bad, and none were as good as the ones we make at home except the Vodka Tonic and the Gin & Tonic.  Even though most of the drinks were bad, at least they were extremely over-priced.  It turns out that the lounging and sun and the sand helped make up for that.

Sea Breezes and Sunscreen - We take sun protection seriously

Monday, April 11, 2011

Drink 88: eeZ Like Sunday Morning

Served in a martini glass
instead of a punch bowl
You may have heard of our next drink, the Margarita.  You may have even had one. If you’ve only had them in restaurants or out of a bucket, though, you probably haven’t had a traditional Margarita, which is made from tequila, triple sec, and lime juice.  The traditional Margarita is not nearly as sweet as your typical restaurant version, which usually has some sour mix (actually sweet!) or other sweetener.

There are a couple of reasons for this.  One is that a super-sweet margarita can be made with any tequila, no matter how terrible it might be. The second is that people love sugar.  If you believe in “evolution” you might even argue that sugar craving is a trait developed over tens of thousands of years of natural selection.  Of course if you don’t believe in evolution, you know that God wants us to eat sugar by design and a grande Margarita from On the Border fits the bill.  I am not saying which view is correct, I just teach the controversy.

We really enjoyed the traditional Margarita.  It was definitely tart, but the triple sec added a little bit of sweetness.  The overall effect was a refreshing drink that won’t leave your throat coated in a mucous-y film.  Mrs. Bottle and I are not opposed to the restaurant version of a Margarita, though.  Case-in-point, we had a meet-and-greet with some of our fans this past Friday at a local establishment called eeZ Fusion & Sushi.  Between addressing the fan concerns about blog frequency and answering some behind-the-scenes questions, Mrs. Bottle had their version of a Margarita called the Margatini.  The Margatini added both sour mix (actually sweet!) and orange juice to the mix.  She thought it was good, but she did comment at the time that it was a bit too sweet.  Take that, natural selection!

Also ambiguous
One could argue that ordering a Margarita at a Japanese restaurant might not be the most successful strategy, but we didn’t have time for such in-depth analysis at the time.  It was much more important for us to figure out how to pronounce “eeZ”.  Why would you name your restaurant something so ambiguous? Is it “ease” or “easy”?  This is the type of thing that bothers me, and I am the kind of person who is so eeZ going that I rarely get bothered.  I was leaning towards “easy” because of the capital Z, but our dining companions pronounced it “ease”.  Since they go to eeZ enough to actually have a strategy to maximize their portions by utilizing bowl geometry and a carrot, I have changed my mind and now I’m going with “ease”.

It’s as eeZ as that.


Overall Rating for Margarita




Taste: 4
Presentation: 4 – No lime wedge?
Ease of Preparation: 4
Drinks Until Blackout: 6 – 24% Alcohol

Ingredients
1.5 oz Tequila
0.5 oz Triple Sec
1 oz Lime Juice




Saturday, January 15, 2011

"My God, it's full of bubbles"

Back by popular demand, we continue our semi-regular TBIAW feature where we ignore our premise of making a Mr. Boston drink each day and instead review a drink (or two) from a local establishment.  And by “popular demand” I mean “Mrs. Bottle demands we actually do something outside the house.”  I was willing to bow to the will of the people.

You may recall that last week we went to a local Mexican restaurant.  We wanted to mix it up this week, so instead of going to a local Mexican restaurant, we went to a chain Mexican restaurant.  I am looking forward to next week when we go to Taco Bell.

I have friends who decry chain restaurants as soulless pits of mediocre food that cater to the lowest common denominator.  To those friends I say, “oh yeah?” I probably need to improve my retorts.  Regardless, we enjoy their food and there happens to be one near the Bottle Wonderland estate so it is quite convenient as well.  We enjoy eating at the bar for enhanced people watching.  One area where On the Border is definitely above average is the margarita menu.  They have around a dozen different selections and several are very good.
His and Hers

Mrs. Bottle chose the Perfect Patrón Margarita, which is a mixture of Patrón Silver, Patrón Citrónage, and angel tears.  It is sweeter than a “classic” margarita, but not overly so.  It really is the baby bear of sweetness and it is the standard by which we measure all other margaritas.  It comes in at around $10 but it is worth it.  If you eat four or five bowls of the free chips and salsa you are actually getting quite a bargain.   

Artist's Rendition

I usually order the Perfect Patrón as well but I went a different way and got the Mexican Mojito instead.  According to the menu it is 1800 Silver Tequila, Cointreau, mint, agave nectar, and a splash of soda.  In other words, it is a margarita with mint and fizz.  I felt like kind of a tool ordering a mojito but, like any great scientist, I was willing to risk my reputation in the name of research.  The risk was worthwhile as the drink actually turned out to be quite good.  The mint was noticeable but subtle and the carbonation was a nice touch.  As an aside, I cannot emphasize enough how much I love carbonation. Carbonation makes everything taste better, much like deep frying does. I recently learned that there are taste receptors for carbonation and my tongue must be loaded with them. 

So now that you are thinking about my tongue, I bid you adieu.



Saturday, January 8, 2011

Wait, Wait, Don’t Seat Me

Welcome to our new semi-regular TBIAW feature where we ignore our premise of making a Mr. Boston drink each day and instead review a drink from a local establishment.  Mrs. Bottle and I both believe that drinking should be done in moderation, so having a drink from the guide and a drink out might be a bit excessive.  Especially on those occasions where we have 2 or 3 drinks while out.

Last night we went with some friends to a local Mexican restaurant, Cantina 1511. * WARNING * WARNING * LINK CONTAINS MUSIC * WARNING * WARNING *   As we arrived we availed ourselves of the complementary valet parking (more on this later).  There wasn’t really a choice since the limited do-it-yourself parking was already full.  Car safely stowed, we approached the hostess and humbly requested a table for four.  She humbly replied that it would be a 45-60 minute wait.  No big deal so we headed to the bar to have a drink.  Ah yes, a drink, the reason for this post.

All that and a basket of chips (and salsa)
I started with the El Mayor, which features El Mayor Tequila, Gran Gala, blood orange puree, lime and sour mix.  Mrs. Bottle had a Tijuana Taxi, which is made of Hornitos Silver, Gran Gala, orange juice, lime, and sour mix.  Both margaritas were good, although I don’t know if I would call mine a margarita since the primary flavor was blood orange.  Mrs. Bottle’s was excellent with a nice amount of sweetness.  I think we each liked the other’s drink better than our own. In any case, we were both able to somehow suffer through and finish our drinks while longingly staring at our partner's.

The Friday special is a flight of margaritas for $15. Our dining companions tried this.  A fun idea, even though the bartender got the salt / no salt /sugar rimming wrong on three out of  three of their drinks.  I would make a bad rimming joke here if I didn’t make two yesterday.

We demurely sipped our drinks while the one-man band sang a number of songs at a high volume level.  High enough that we couldn’t even converse.  I confess that I am not a youngster, but is it really necessary to have the music so loud that you can’t have a conversation?  Is it wrong to want to talk without shouting? Do I sound like Andy Rooney now?  My companions were disappointed that they missed several of my wry observations.

In fairness, the singer wasn’t bad, but the song selection was a bit predictable.  He played Oye Como Va, Black Magic Woman, and Smooth.  Having exhausted the Santana catalog, he moved on to surprises Tequila (which led to all of us doing the Pee Wee Herman dance), Margaritaville, and La Bamba.  The poor guy is probably pretty tired of playing those songs.  The one surprise was Last Kiss, which is an oldie that was covered by Pearl Jam in 2003.  In case you aren't familiar, the song is about a violent car crash that kills the singer’s girlfriend. Example verse:

I couldn’t stop, so I swerved to the right
I’ll never forget the sound that night
The screamin’ tires, the bustin’ glass
The painful scream that I heard last

That really sets a festive tone for a night out with friends!  So festive that we ordered another round.


Sometimes you feel like a lime, sometimes you don't
For round 2, Mrs. Bottle and I both got the 1511, which is made of Herradura Reposado, Cointreau, lime juice, orange juice and sour mix.  The drinks were a little syrup-y in my opinion, coating my throat in a mucus-like film.  The flavor was nice, though.  I think after my super-sweet El Mayor, I should have gone with a more traditional margarita with a little less sweetness than these.  In any case, the bartender wasn’t stingy on the pours, as I could definitely tell that I had consumed a couple of drinks at this point. 

Eventually our little coaster pager lit up, signaling that our table was ready.  That pager lighting up is one of life’s small pleasures.  I think I might get one of them and use it to signal other things.  Maybe Mrs. Bottle could use it to tell me dinner is ready. That would be pretty sweet.

By now we had been at the increasingly crowded bar for about 75 minutes. You may recall, dear reader, that the hostess estimated our wait at 45-60 minutes.  Those extra 15 minutes are now lost forever.  When we finally made our way to the hostess stand, flashing pager in hand, our table wasn’t actually ready.  After a little more waiting, they seated us.  They did comp us with a free appetizer for the unexpectedly long wait, though.  So we had that going for us, which was nice.  At least the wait was not in vain, as our meal was quite good.  I recommend the Tacos al Pastor which feature pork, pineapple, and habenero crema.  It was like a Polynesian party in my mouth.

As our epic story draws to close, there was one last problem:  The valet lost our friend’s car keys.  They didn’t tell us at first as we waited and waited and they frantically searched and called the previous shift’s valet.  Eventually they owned up to having misplaced the keys.  It got a little tense when the valet wouldn’t let my friend look for the keys himself, but eventually he took matters into his own hands and located them.  They were on a peg with another set and his keys didn’t even have the retrieval tag.  I’ve never been a valet, but it seems like a pretty simple job:  Take keys, park car, HANG KEYS WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM.  They got two of three of those steps correct.  Of course when you fail at step three, it makes the remaining steps of retrieving keys and returning the car much more difficult.  I guess we got what we paid for.

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