Drink 186: Big Lizard In My Back Yard, Can't Afford to Feed It Anymore

Have a Coke
and a blank
stare

Today we will not be talking about baby scat commercials even though we remain emotionally scarred after yesterday's post. Instead we will discuss the Lounge Lizard, a mix of dark rum, amaretto, and cola.  This is the second best drink we’ve ever had with cola out of the two we’ve tried.  Don't you think it was so cute back then when I had given up drinking soda?  That dark period of my life is over now and hopefully soon forgotten.

The Lounge Lizard’s rating may have been adversely impacted as a result of my soda relapse, since drinking a cola is a normal occurrence instead of a treat. 

For our cola we used Coke Zero, which we thought would work better than our other option, Diet Pepsi.  Why? Because Coke Zero >>>> Diet Pepsi. Also, the Coke Zero was in the pantry and the Diet Pepsi was way downstairs. It turns out the Diet Pepsi may have been a better choice even with the required trek to the dank basement of the Estate.  because the drink ended up being a bit too sweet for either of our liking.  The Coke Zero is already pretty sweet and adding the amaretto pushed it over the top.  If I were to make it again I would definitely leave out the amaretto.  And maybe the rum, too.

Overall Rating for the Lounge Lizard

Taste: 3

Presentation: 4

Ease of Preparation: 5

Drinks Until Blackout: 11 – 9% Alcohol

Ingredients

1 oz Dark Rum

.5 oz Amaretto

Cola

Drink 177: Some Of Our Best Friends Are Turkish

Today’s drink the Midnight Express is made from dark rum, triple sec, hashish, lime juice, simple syrup, and lemon juice*.  Whatever you do, do not smuggle this drink out of Turkey.  You will be tempted to try, though, if you happen to be in Turkey when you first have one. That’s because this drink was very good and you will want to have it again when you get back to the States.  The primary taste was citrus with a hint of dark rum.  It was a more complex taste than I was expecting and it was a pleasant surprise.  Mrs. Bottle and I both thought it reminded us of another drink.  Sadly neither of us could think of what it was. You are probably happy I shared that little tidbit.

We used the giant version of the image
 to mask the lack of content today

I was planning on writing some other stuff about the movie Midnight Express, which is one of my favorites (“Oh, Billy!”).  Then I read that a lot of the stuff in the movie wasn’t even true.  In fact, director Oliver Stone even apologized to the Turkish people for their portrayal in the film.  C’mon Ollie, stand behind your work even if it unfairly stereotyped an entire country.  You don’t see George Lucas apologizing for Star Wars: The Phantom Menace even though he should.  You certainly won’t catch us apologizing for anything we write on TBIAW.  Unless, of course, someone were to ask us to.  

*Does not contain hashish

Overall Rating for the Midnight Express

 

Taste: 5

Presentation: 3 – It ain’t pretty

Ease of Preparation: 4

Drinks Until Blackout: 4 – 26% Alcohol

Ingredients

1.5 oz Dark Rum

.5 oz Triple Sec

.75 oz Lime Juice

1 splash Simple Syrup

1 splash Lemon Juice

Drink 159: Cop a Squat

Do not judge a Bajito by its outward appearance

Today we have the Bajito, a mix of dark rum, fresh lime, simple syrup, mint leaves, and basil leaves.  The Bajito continues our mini-run of drinks that feature fresh mint although at a week old we are stretching the definition of “fresh”.  The basil we used was as fresh as fresh can be, though, coming directly from the Bottle Wonderland back forty into the cocktail shaker.  You might be surprised that the Estate features an extensive farm. Despite our affinity for the green plastic lime, Mrs. Bottle and I are actually big proponents of sustainable local food. That is why I plan to move very close to the Jelly Belly Factory.

Even better than food from the local farm is the food you grow yourself. Knowing we raised that basil from a small basil plant purchased at Lowe’s all the way to its current incarnation as a medium sized basil plant brought extra satisfaction to every sip. It would have brought even more satisfaction if we could have actually tasted the basil in the drink. While there was a hint of basil, the drink pretty much tasted like a regular Mojito. That isn’t a bad thing since a Mojito is delicious and so is the Bajito. 

Where the Bajito falls down is in its appearance.  Bajito is Spanish for “squat” and I have to assume it is called that because it is shorter than a Mojito and not because it looks likes like something that happens when one is squatting.  The good news is that it has 3 ounces of rum so after one or two you won’t care how it looks.  Four or five of them will probably make a lot of things look better than they are.  I recommend it before reading TBIAW.

Overall Rating for the Bajito

Taste: 4

Presentation: 0

Ease of Preparation: 2

Drinks Until Blackouts: 4 – 29% Alcohol

Ingredients

3 oz Dark Rum

1 tbsp Simple Syrup

5 Slices Fresh Lime – How much is that, anyway?

4 Fresh Basil Leaves

4 Fresh Mint Leaves

Drink 109: When Putsch Comes To Shove



Hipster Hipster Shake

 Today we feature the triumphant return of Mr. Bottle after a three-day absence.   During this time, Mrs. Bottle tried to claim I was idly shaking my iPad while she selflessly picked up the slack, but that was terrible propaganda.  In reality, she had staged a bloodless coup of TBIAW.   I think she may have been inspired by the Arab Spring.  Either that or she saw some hipster doofus with a Che t-shirt on and it prompted her to act.  No matter how the seeds of change were planted, the end result was revolution.

Even though she temporarily assumed full control of our blog, she did not realize I had been secretly marshalling my resources, namely Bottle Wonderland Cat.  Today, we unleashed hell.  Our plot was successful and we hereby proclaim the revolution suppressed.  Our main tactic was writing the blog while she was still at work.  Although we have the power, we remain ever vigilant.  Bottle Wonderland cat plans to wake me up several times during the night just to be safe.  This is important because we hear that Mrs. Bottle is trying to foment discontent via social media and by shouting out the window at our neighbors.

Was this the inspiration?
It could have been that hairy chest

Unfortunately, wresting control away from Mrs. Bottle has exhausted me and it didn’t leave me much energy to review today’s drink, the Moon Quake Shake.  The Moon Quake Shake is a mix of coffee brandy, dark rum, and lemon juice.  This is one of the more unusual drinks we’ve tried so far.  It pretty much tasted like coffee with lemon, which is not a normal combination.  I like tea with lemon and water with lemon, but I’m not sure about coffee with lemon.  Neither Mrs. Bottle nor I could decide whether we liked this drink or not, but I did drink the whole thing.  I just hope Mrs. Bottle didn't spike it with any sleiopaetsdjfdflzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Overall Rating for the Moon Quake Shake

Taste: 3  - Mostly because we couldn't tell if it was good or bad

Presentation: 2

Ease of Preparation: 4

Drinks Until Blackout: 4 – 28% Alcohol

Ingredients

1.5 oz Dark Rum

1 oz Coffee-Flavored Brandy

1 tbsp Lemon Juice

Day 58: Turn Your Head and Coffee Twice

Not sure what is "Boston" or
"Caribbean" about this

In the process of each day’s post we usually do some research in an attempt to find interesting tidbits about the current drink.  At some point we will actually find one.  Until then we will continue to share whatever dreck we dig up.  On the hunt for our latest drink the Boston Caribbean we discovered the Cocktail Jen blog.  In addition to having a cool name, Cocktail Jen is “an amateur mixologist working her way through Mr. Boston, one drink at a time.”

That makes today the most tragic day in The Bottle is a Wonderland history. And no, it is not because we had to drink Coors Light, although that didn’t help.  It is because we are even more derivative than we thought.  We never pretended that the concept behind TBIAW was original. In fact, we said in our very first post that we blatantly stole the idea from Julie & Julia.  But to find another blog with the exact same premise was a real stomach punch. This must be how Marconi felt when he discovered that Tesla had already invented radio. I have no idea how Tesla feels about Mr. Big, though.

Damn you Cocktail Jen!

How did this happen?  We actually looked for a blog with this premise before we began but didn’t find one.  I guess we didn’t look hard enough because one certainly exists. Cocktail Jen’s approach is a little different than ours at least. She planned on doing each section alphabetically starting with rum.  She also posted relatively sporadically, at one point going more than six months between posts.   That might have been due to the great rum shortage of 2007.  The best I can tell is that she didn’t even make it through the rum section much less the entire guide.  She probably had a life that prevented her from finishing.  Luckily for me I have no such distractions.

Since Cocktail Jen (the blog, not the person) appears to be dead, the best way to honor it is to forge ahead in our own effort and review the Boston Caribbean.  It is coffee, crème de cocoa (dark), and dark rum.   Like Cocktail Jen, we both enjoyed the Boston Caribbean.  Mrs. Bottle thought it had a strong rum flavor, but I mostly tasted coffee.  There was ample sweetness because I normally don’t like coffee without a fair amount of sugar and this was definitely drinkable.  I’m guessing that the whipped cream had a lot to do with it but Cocktail Jen thinks it was the crème de cocoa.  Also like Cocktail Jen, our cinnamon stick sank to the bottom of the glass before I could get a picture.

Unlike Cocktail Jen, we will have another post for you tomorrow.

Overall Rating for the Boston Caribbean

Taste: 4

Presentation: 5

Ease of Preparation: 2

Drinks Until Blackout: 10 –  9% alcohol

Ingredients

1 oz Dark Rum

1 oz Crème de Cocoa (Dark)

Hot Coffee