Drink 128: Hot Enough For You?

Hot hot hot

We have been in a bit of a heat wave lately. Yesterday the mercury peaked at about 137^o. In an effort to stay cool, Mrs. Bottle thought it would be a good idea to have a drink made with hot coffee so she chose the Mexican Coffee for our latest drink.  Our coffee maker heats the coffee to 192^o so her plan did not work (because of science). It would have worked today, though, when the temperature peaked at 712^o.

In addition to coffee, the Mexican Coffee contains coffee liqueur and tequila.  This is not to be confused with the Mexitaly Coffee which has coffee, coffee liqueur, and amaretto.  By coffee liqueur, the book probably intended for us to have some weak stuff like Kahlua or Tia Maria.  Since we are out of Kahlua (how could Mrs. Bottle let that happen?), we used Patrón XO Cafe liqueur.  The Patrón is 70 proof instead of 53 proof like Kahlua.  It still only makes the drink 8% alcohol, though, so it wasn’t a huge difference in overall potency.

The Patrón did affect the flavor, though.  It is not nearly as sweet as Kahlua, so the drink was a little bitter. Side note: the XO Café is really very tasty on its own.  Their web site says it would also make a good dessert topping, so you might want to try some on your cake the next time you are at some kid’s birthday party.  It will make the time pass faster.

Also good like this
img: yelp.com

We also used gold tequila instead of our traditional silver which added a bit more bite than it would have otherwise had.  This and the Patrón combined to make the drink a little less tasty than it had the potential to be.  I think with some silver tequila, some sweeter liqueur, and day where the temperature was somewhere south of 50 degrees, this would be a real winner.

Overall Rating for the Mexican Coffee

Taste: 3 – Has the potential for a 4 or 5

Presentation: 5

Ease of Preparation: 3

Drinks Until Blackout: 11 – 8% Alcohol

Ingredients

0.5 oz Tequila

1 oz Coffee Liqueur

5 oz Hot Coffee

Day 71: Buongiorno, Amigos!

What do you get when you combine coffee liqueur, amaretto, and coffee?  The Mexitaly Coffee, our latest drink.   The “Mexitaly” in the name is a bit presumptuous since it assumes that we will use Kahlúa coffee liqueur from Mexico and Disaranno Originale amaretto from Italy.  In our case, we did use Kahlúa, but our amaretto is made in Ohio under license from DeKuyper, a Dutch company.  For those of you in the 50% of Americans who cannot find Ohio on a map, it is in the United States.

This is the United States

Since amaretto originated in Italy we can probably still safely the drink the Mexitaly Coffee even though ours was Mexitaliameridutch.  Here at TBIAW, we do not see ethnicity; we just see a drink that needs to be rated.  And rate it we did.

Of course before we could rate it, we had to make it.  And by "we", I mean Mrs. Bottle.  Even though she has made 95% of the drinks so far, this one provided her with a challenge she had yet to face: Using maraschino cherry juice to moisten the glass before rimming it with cinnamon sugar.  If I made the drink, I would have tried to pour some juice on a plate and dip the glass in it or maybe suck up some juice in a turkey baster and then spray it on the glass.  Whatever I did, it would have been a disaster.  Luckily Mrs. Bottle is smarter than I am and she just dipped a paper towel into the jar of cherries and then used that to moisten the glass.

All these coffee drinks kind of look the same

After applying the cinnamon sugar, she added the liqueur and the coffee.  Since this drink is only 5% alcohol, it needed a little show to make up for its weakness.  Fortunately the recipe called for it to be topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.  As we usually do, we substituted chocolate jimmies for the shavings.  You really can't go wrong with jimmies. For the whipped cream we used Reddi-Wip whipped cream instead of our usual Cool Whip.  We switched from Cool Whip to Reddi-Wip for several reasons:

1. Reddi-Wip is easier to apply to a drink than Cool Whip since Reddi-Wip has a spray nozzle

2. Reddi-Wip is easier to apply to a lot of things, if you know what I mean.

3. Reddi-Wip shows a rakish disregard for spelling rules. We luv that.

4. Reddi-Wip is made with nitrous oxide.  In a pinch you could use it to anesthetize yourself and/or boost the speed of your Honda Civic. It is the Official Whipped Cream of MacGyver^TM

5. Our tub of Cool Whip was filled with mold, which I noticed right after I put a big spoonful of it in my mouth.  On the bright side, any infections I may or may not have had are now cleared up.

The drink itself was very good.   The primary flavor was of course the coffee.  There was a slight almond note from the amaretto that added flavor complexity.  I am not a huge fan of amaretto but in this case it was pleasant. It also had a slight cherry taste at the finish due to the juice on the rim.  Of course that taste only lasted for the first few sips.  After that I had to give the rim a big lick to get any of that delicious cherry flavor.  I had to stop licking the glass, though, because it was was either grossing out Mrs. Bottle or making her aroused.  It is a fine line that I often have trouble discerning.

Overall Rating for the Mexitaly Coffee

Taste: 5

Presentation: 5

Ease of Preparation: 1

Drinks Until Blackout: 17 – 5% Alcohol

Ingredients

.75 oz Coffee Liqueur

.75 oz Amaretto

Coffee

Day 58: Turn Your Head and Coffee Twice

Not sure what is "Boston" or
"Caribbean" about this

In the process of each day’s post we usually do some research in an attempt to find interesting tidbits about the current drink.  At some point we will actually find one.  Until then we will continue to share whatever dreck we dig up.  On the hunt for our latest drink the Boston Caribbean we discovered the Cocktail Jen blog.  In addition to having a cool name, Cocktail Jen is “an amateur mixologist working her way through Mr. Boston, one drink at a time.”

That makes today the most tragic day in The Bottle is a Wonderland history. And no, it is not because we had to drink Coors Light, although that didn’t help.  It is because we are even more derivative than we thought.  We never pretended that the concept behind TBIAW was original. In fact, we said in our very first post that we blatantly stole the idea from Julie & Julia.  But to find another blog with the exact same premise was a real stomach punch. This must be how Marconi felt when he discovered that Tesla had already invented radio. I have no idea how Tesla feels about Mr. Big, though.

Damn you Cocktail Jen!

How did this happen?  We actually looked for a blog with this premise before we began but didn’t find one.  I guess we didn’t look hard enough because one certainly exists. Cocktail Jen’s approach is a little different than ours at least. She planned on doing each section alphabetically starting with rum.  She also posted relatively sporadically, at one point going more than six months between posts.   That might have been due to the great rum shortage of 2007.  The best I can tell is that she didn’t even make it through the rum section much less the entire guide.  She probably had a life that prevented her from finishing.  Luckily for me I have no such distractions.

Since Cocktail Jen (the blog, not the person) appears to be dead, the best way to honor it is to forge ahead in our own effort and review the Boston Caribbean.  It is coffee, crème de cocoa (dark), and dark rum.   Like Cocktail Jen, we both enjoyed the Boston Caribbean.  Mrs. Bottle thought it had a strong rum flavor, but I mostly tasted coffee.  There was ample sweetness because I normally don’t like coffee without a fair amount of sugar and this was definitely drinkable.  I’m guessing that the whipped cream had a lot to do with it but Cocktail Jen thinks it was the crème de cocoa.  Also like Cocktail Jen, our cinnamon stick sank to the bottom of the glass before I could get a picture.

Unlike Cocktail Jen, we will have another post for you tomorrow.

Overall Rating for the Boston Caribbean

Taste: 4

Presentation: 5

Ease of Preparation: 2

Drinks Until Blackout: 10 –  9% alcohol

Ingredients

1 oz Dark Rum

1 oz Crème de Cocoa (Dark)

Hot Coffee

Day 36: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Dice

It is day four of Romance Week and today we are trying something a little different, a hot drink.  Of the 35 drinks we have had so far, only one was hot.  Today’s drink is called the Hot Kiss and it is a mix of hot coffee, Irish whiskey, crème de menthe and crème de cocoa. To mark this special occasion, we actually purchased an Irish coffee glass.  We are nothing if not dedicated to producing the highest quality blog we can given our lack of talent.

Our Cup Runneth Over

Since it is romance week I feel like we should be dispensing some romantic advice.  In all modesty, there probably isn’t a better source on the planet than me, but “romance tips” articles are played out and I actually don’t know anything. Instead of droning on about fixing your girlfriend dinner or making her a mix tape, I thought our time would be better spent analyzing two recent romances in the news to see if we can learn anything. 

Doesn't see the problem

Let’s start with Mark Sanchez.  You may have heard that Mr. Sanchez has allegedly been “dating” a 17-year-old high school student. Some people might think that he is creepy for doing so, but I don’t. I’ve dated a few 17-year-old high school girls myself and really enjoyed it.  Of course I was 17 at the time.  Really, Mark’s only mistake is that he is 24.    Well that’s probably not his only mistake.  He probably should have asked her not to post about it on Facebook.  He could have mentioned it right after he plowed her field.  On FarmVille, that is.  I really hope the resultant media attention doesn’t sour their relationship or hurt her GPA. I’m not really worried about the impact on Sanchez’ career, because on the Jets his behavior qualifies as prudish.

I wouldn't be able to resist
(Image: Gawker)

Our next case study is (former) Congressman Christopher Lee (R-NY).  Mr. Lee resigned from Congress on Wednesday after it came out that he had apparently been soliciting dates on Craigslist.  This would have been fine if Mr. Lee wasn’t married.  Or if he was seeking only married women to date.  As far as I know, it isn’t cheating as long as all parties are married to someone.   His second mistake was sending a shirtless picture to some stranger.  That is no way to a lady's heart.  He should have sent a junk shot like everybody else, amiright?  I guess he is pretty fit and likes to show off the bod, but when I take shirtless pictures of myself in the mirror I usually go with a more casual pant.

I don't know if either Mr. Sanchez or Mr. Lee uses a Hot Kiss when wooing a potential mate, but it wouldn't hurt.  Unless, of course, it is served it to a minor.  Anyway, the drink was very good and moves into our top drink list.  The drink had a rich coffee flavor with nice mint and chocolate undertones.  It also scores well on the romance scale.  A nice Hot Kiss in front of a fireplace on a cold winter's night would certainly be welcomed by any right-thinking person.  A little whipped cream never hurts, either.  It is also good on the drink. The Hot Kiss was also garnished with a chocolate covered mint, but it sank to the bottom before we could take a picture.  It was a heart-shaped peppermint patty and it looked great for the 3 seconds it was visible.  A Junior Mint probably would have been a safer choice, if less attractive. 

If we have learned anything from the Hot Kiss, Mr. Lee, or Mr. Sanchez it is this: The legal age of consent in New York is 17.

Overall Rating for the Hot Kiss

Taste: 5

Presentation: 5

Ease of Preparation: 3

Drinks Until Blackout: 10  - Only 9% Alcohol

Romance Score: 5

Ingredients

1 oz Irish Whiskey

.5 oz Crème de Menthe

.5 oz Crème de Cocoa

6 oz Hot Coffee (we used 5.25 oz because that's what our coffee machine makes)