Day 13: You Got Your Apple in My Cinnamon



K-Fed Gives it a 3



Take any number.  Now double it and add ten.  Divide it by two and subtract your original number. Did you end up with an answer of five?  If so, congratulations, you now know the maximum score of the new and improved TBIAW drink rating system.  We are scrapping our ten-point scale for a streamlined five-point scale.  This will allow you to better differentiate how good each drink is.  It also lets you display the rating using only one hand, leaving your other hand free to flash gang signs.

Our first drink that aspires to a perfect five is the Hot Cinnamon Roll.  It is hot apple cider and cinnamon schnapps.  Our favorite cinnamon schnapps is Goldschläger, which contains actual gold. I’m not sure what the point of the gold is, but it does give you the rare opportunity to both consume and excrete real gold. Just like Russian billionaires and Oprah.  For the apple cider we used Alpine Spiced Apple Cider.  Don’t think too much about mixing instant cider and Goldschläger or it might cause cognitive dissonance.

After preparing our drink, we topped it with Cool Hwhip and stirred with a cinnamon stick.  According to Mr. Boston, the Hot Cinnamon Roll should be served in an Irish coffee glass.  Since we don’t own an Irish coffee glass, we instead went with a clear acrylic Freddie Mac mug.  It used to be opaque but became transparent in an effort to stay ahead of pending legislation.

Our Fannie Mae Mug Was Dirty

This was our first hot drink and the good news is that it didn't set the bar impossibly high so all others are let downs.  I thought the cinnamon overwhelmed the cider.  Mrs. Bottle said that “if it didn’t have that weird apple-cidery taste to it, it would be good.”   I can't believe I married someone so different from me.

She also pointed out that cinnamon sticks are ridiculously expensive. I'm not sure if that has any bearing on the drink, but it needed to be said. Maybe next time we will skip the apple cider and the cinnamon stick and just drink straight Goldschläger.

Overall rating: 

Taste: 3

Ease of Preparation: 3

Presentation: 3

Drinks until blackout: 10 - At only 8% alcohol, it would take a lot of these.  Oh, and this metric is on an ∞ point scale