Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 14: Hawaii Five-Oh No

Mrs. Bottle was watching the Golden Globes the other night and I looked over at the TV and wondered “why is there a life-sized cardboard cutout of Carson Daly on the red carpet?”  It turns out that it wasn’t a cardboard cutout; it was the actual Carson Daly.  I felt pretty stupid because I should have known that a cardboard cutout would have been less stiff.  I seriously do not understand why he is famous and was shocked when I realized his show has been on since 2002. I head a rumor that the only reason he is on TV is because Ryan Seacrest has a clause in his contract that there must be at least one host on screen with less personality than he has.

Hawaiian Cocktail Drink
Yeah, It's Mostly Gin
The previous paragraph has as much to do with our latest drink as the drink has to do with its own name.  The drink was the Hawaiian Cocktail. When Mrs. Bottle told me we were having a Hawaiian Cocktail, I imagined a tropical ambrosia with a cute little umbrella.  What we got instead was something that a fire breather would drink before shooting a three foot long flame from his mouth.  Hopefully onto Carson Daly.

The drink is composed of gin, triple sec, and pineapple juice.  I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that pineapples grow in Hawaii so the name Hawaiian Cocktail is appropriate.  You are wrong.  There is only a tablespoon of pineapple juice in the drink and the pineapples, they did nothing. I also thought the drink smelled a lot like Windex. I asked Mrs. Bottle if she thought it smelled like Windex and she informed me that she didn’t know what Windex smelled like.  Don’t read too much into that.

I Hope It's Before Labor Day
The drink looked attractive, though. It was simple, frosty and white.  It reminded me of Tilda Swinton in The Chronicles of Narnia.  Or in The Limits of Control. Or at the Golden Globes.  Or in this photo shoot. Or this one. 

You get the idea.

Overall Rating:


Taste: 1
Ease of Preparation: 4
Presentation: 4
Drinks until blackout: 4 – 40% alcohol and you will definitely know it

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