Drink 185: Poop, There it Is!

Today we have the Chocolate-Covered Strawberry, which is a mix of strawberry schnapps, crème de cacao, and cream.  In our case we used delicious Fragoli wild strawberry liqueur (which we are not being paid to promote, but we could easily be persuaded to given the right incentive) instead of boring old schnapps. We also used half and half instead of cream.  We are not being paid to use half and half either (are you listening dairy council?), but we happen to have a carton of it that is about to expire so we need to use that stuff up.  Reader tip: expect more cream-based drinks in the next few days.  Mrs. Bottle was also eager to open the half and half because she will now be forced to drink White Russians daily (Final parenthetical – the White Russian post is our most viewed because of that picture of Superman with his shirt off.  The one of the Penguin with his shirt off was less successful).

Yes, this is all there was

This Chocolate-Covered Strawberry was pretty tasty, but you really had to search for the chocolate flavor.  It was almost overwhelmed by the Fragoli ultimately leaving it tasting more like a strawberry-covered strawberry.  In all seriousness, the Fragoli has a pretty pronounced flavor.  Another strawberry schnapps may reveal more of the crème de cacao but I guess we'll never know.

This drink is served in a red wine glass over ice.  I am not opposed to using ice in a red wine glass since that is how I usually drink my Almaden Blush.  This drink is only 1¾ ounces so it looks kind of ridiculous in a wine glass, though.   On the upside, it looks like a Strawberry Yoo-Hoo so you could mix up a batch, pour it in an empty Yoo-hoo bottle, and drink it while you are at the mall.  Or you could pack it in your kid’s lunch for a hilarious although legally and ethically questionable prank! 

Now is the part where I usually seamlessly segue into some tangentially related pop-culture or current-events based commentary.  What I need to talk about now is too shocking and upsetting to treat it with that type of frivolity, though. Last night I saw a commercial for Luvs Diapers that may be the most disturbing advertisement of our times.  I guess this thing has been out for a while but it hasn’t yet caused a national stir.  Maybe the rest of America is like me and they haven’t seen it yet. Now that I have seen it, I wish I could un-see it. 

Why is it so disturbing? I shall now break it down for you in a photo essay.

It starts off pretty normal.  We have three babies in the “Heavy Dooty Championship”.  At this point I figure it is some kind of beauty pageant spoof where we will see horrible mothers spend hundreds of dollars to pimp out their children in the hopes one will become Grand Supreme Heavy Dooty and win a cheap-ass bedazzled crown.

We now meet our first contestant.  So far… nothing disturbing.  She appears to be warming up for the talent portion of the contest.  I wonder what her talent is?

Oh she is showing her butt.  Maybe her talent is interpretive dance.

Oh my god, she crapped her pants.  Well, that’s what babies do I guess, but that is going to hurt her chances of winning Grand Supreme Heavy Dooty.

My, what a racially diverse and gender neutral judges panel.  I wonder what they will think?

Baby Randy Jackson clearly thinks the poop is a problem, dawg.

 

Okay, now I am getting upset.  Contestant #14 also pooped himself and the people in the audience are recording it on their phones so they can re-watch it later.  The authorities may be interested in those two.

Wait, what?  The judges are giving him better scores than the first contestant.  It is starting to dawn on me that the Heavy Dooty contest has something to do with poop volume.

Now there is no mistaking what is going on here.  This is just like looking into the mirror for me when I am headed to the loo.

Holy crap!  This kid should probably be rushed to the emergency room, stat.

The judges love it.  Sick bastards.

The kid on the left is thinking, “where are my parents and why are they making me stand on stage with a poop-filled diaper?” She probably also wants to get out of there before the champion goes for an encore.

The crowd goes wild!!!  I am beside myself.

Watch the whole thing here if you dare.

Overall Rating for the Chocolate-Covered Strawberry

Taste: 4

Presentation: 3

Ease of Preparation: 5

Drinks Until Blackout: 7 –  18% Alcohol

Ingredients

1 oz Strawberry Schnapps

0.25 oz Crème de Cacao

0.5 oz Cream

Drink 173: Frah-gee-lay?

The other day we received a Facebook “like” from Fragoli Liqueur. This was exciting for a number of reasons.  First, we always are happy to get a “like” since it boosts our self-esteem and helps us gain on Lady Gaga.  Secondly, Fragoli is the first company to publicly proclaim their fondness for TBIAW.  It is one thing to have your friend do it, but a company is another level.  I wonder if the Fragoli board of directors unanimously approved the "like" or if there was some dissent? Did they battle it out like in Twelve Angry Men?



Perfection, thy
name is Fragoli



Hmm, I guess there were only two reasons it was exciting, but two is a number, too.  One thing I’m sure of is that we received their coveted “like” because of the blog’s outstanding content. There was no way it was simply because they have some automated bot that spotted the word “Fragoli” in our Economic Stimulus sidebar and just gave us the “like” in the hopes that we would like them back and possibly link to them in our blog.  We frown on that kind of self-promotion. We would never expect them to link back to a post of ours just because it mentioned their product repeatedly and glowingly.

 I also hope that Fragoli doesn’t think that we will compromise our editorial integrity when reviewing their product just because they “like”d us.  We cannot be bought that easily.  Please note that we can be bought.  Just not that easily.  I implore you to keep that in mind as we talk for a moment about Fragoli, an Italian strawberry liqueur. It is a must to discuss since it is an ingredient in our latest drink the Strawberry Sunrise. 

Since we have never had Fragoli before, we tried some straight before putting it in the drink.  I can say without bias that Fragoli is the best tasting thing I have ever tried.  It was the perfect combination of sweetness, strawberry flavor, and alcohol bite.  It was like a strawberry patch exploded into my mouth and I used alcohol nectar to extinguish the flames. Fragoli even has these cute whole wild strawberries in the bottle.  Can you imagine anything more perfect?  I surely can’t. 

We combined the Fragoli with grenadine and orange juice in our Strawberry Sunrise even though we aren’t quite sure Fragoli was the proper ingredient.  You see, the recipe called for strawberry schnapps, not fine delicious Italian strawberry liqueur. Since schnapps is just sweetened flavored liqueur, we decided to use Fragoli since it meets the criteria. Really, you’d have to be crazy to use plain old schnapps when Fragoli is available. We are a lot of things but we are not crazy.

It is sad that you can
barely make out the
Fragoli in this picture

Unlike the L.A Sunrise, the Strawberry Sunrise actually looked like a sunrise with a nice separation of the orange juice from the red ingredients.  Separate, though not equal.  As far as flavor, the drink was quite good.  It was almost like a cocktail version of a strawberry and orange Julius. If there were any complaints, it was a little too sweet.  This was undoubtedly due to the ½ ounce of grenadine and not the Fragoli.  The Fragoli’s sweetness was perfect and it remains blameless in any of the drink’s shortcomings.  The Strawberry Sunrise  also was a bit weak, coming in at just over 7% alcohol.  In this case the recipe takes the blame, since it called for a lot of OJ and not enough Fragoli. 

To conclude, Fragoli.

Overall Rating for the Strawberry Sunrise

Taste: 4

Presentation: 5

Ease of Preparation: 5

Drinks Until Blackouts: 12 – 7% Alcohol

Ingredients

2 oz Strawberry Schnapps – We highly recommend Fragoli

0.5 oz Grenadine

Orange Juice