Day 31: Loch, Scotch, and Barrel

"Brackish" is not a quality
we look for in a drink

Mrs. Bottle here. I think Mr. Bottle is breathing a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to write about last night’s drink after almost having to fill in for my weekly turn at the libation review. It turns out that on the 3^rd night in a row of attending some form of event where drinks have a heavy presence, my body turns on me. Maybe it was just the memory of that Pom-Lemonata from the night before but after an hour at a friend’s party, I felt nauseated as hell (someday I’m sure Mr. Bottle will explain to you the difference between being nauseated and nauseous- riveting stuff). But I’ve soldiered on to share the story of today’s drink.

It is the Loch Lomond, a mix of Scotch whisky, peach schnapps, blue Curaçao, grapefruit juice, and lemon juice with a starfruit garnish. Surprisingly, starfruit can't be found in Charlotte in early February so we had to skip it. This concoction sounds odd enough when you feel good, so you can imagine that the idea of drinking it last night was not something I relished. All I wanted to do was to lie on the couch and watch my new favorite show Top Gear on BBC America. I’m not sure why there’s a BBC America on my cable. It’s not like there’s a huge surplus of British immigrants in the US, right? The only thing I can surmise is that we Americans must think England is some sort of mystical place where all your dreams come true. Like Disneyworld. Must just be those accents. Just listening to The Stig speak made me feel better and up for the taste test.

How can a duck
hand-squeeze?

The Loch Lomond is unremarkable in every way except for taste, smell, and appearance. I thought it smelled like an old shoe. It was the color of greenish sea water, perhaps similar to the Scottish lake it was named after? And the taste? It was odd, having a prominent grapefruit juice flavor with some sort of weird chemical flavor at the end. I couldn’t really make out the Scotch but Mr. Bottle thought he detected it. While he also thought there was something off, he believed he could actually drink it if he hadn’t already had his fill of alcohol. As for that peculiar taste at the end, he thought our 10 year old peach schnapps might be bad. I just wondered if Donald Duck brand grapefruit juice might not have been the best option to choose.

Ultimately, my opinion is that the Loch Lomond is just bloody awful.

Overall Rating for the Loch Lomond

Taste: 2  - Mr. Bottle could have drunk it or this would be a solid 1

Presentation: 2  - Starfruit may have pushed it to a 3

Ease of Preparation: 3 - Starfruit might have pushed it to a 2

Drinks Until Blackout: 8 - Only 13% alcohol 

Ingredients

1 oz Scotch Whisky

.5 oz Peach Schnapps

1 oz Blue Curaçao

3 oz Grapefruit Juice

.5 oz Lemon Juice