Day 37: Beaches and Prose

Romance Week continues and today we have Sex on the Beach, a favorite drink of 21 year-old college students.  It is a shooter made with vodka, black raspberry liqueur, melon liqueur, pineapple juice, and cranberry juice. This drink is pretty visually unappealing.  It looks a lot like dirty water.  The taste is what you might expect, a fruit bomb.  Mrs. Bottle thought the melon dominated the drink and for her that is a big minus.  I agreed that it had a very strong melon flavor, but I could also taste the pineapple juice.  The black raspberry and cranberry didn’t fight their way through at all and the vodka was completely undetectable. The absence of alcohol notes is another reason it is popular with 21 year-olds.

Romance Bear is presumptuous



Suave



Sex on the Beach scores pretty low on the romance scale as well.  As previously noted, shooters are not the epitome of class.  I have nothing against shooters in general, but you rarely see people having a quiet candlelight dinner ordering a round of Alabama Slammers.  You might hide an engagement ring in a champagne flute, but you would never put the ring in a shot glass unless you are confident in your Heimlich skills.  The name Sex on the Beach doesn’t ooze romance either.  We all know that romance can and should lead to physical love, but why be so overt?  There are places where such crassness is considered romantic, though.  These places are primarily in New Jersey.

If I were going to take the easy way out, this section would contain more cheap jokes about sex on the beach leading to sand where you don’t want it or being careful to look out for crabs, lol. Instead, we are going to answer a question I found on the web:

Has anyone had sex on the beach is it romantic?

Hey my name is Kandi and I'm 18 :-) I've been seeing this handsome guy for three months he is older 37. He wants to take me to the beach to have a romantic night together. I was thinking blankets, wine, dinner, and candles. Also can you get in trouble if anyone sees. The beach that we are going to usually has a lot of cops around I don't know why

Dear Kandi,

A) You should not have sex until you are married, otherwise you might get a reputation

B)  Is this beach in Dubai?  If so, you should pass.

C) It’s too bad you are already 18 or you could ditch that 37 year old for Mark Sanchez.  Maybe you could lie about your age.

D) You should skip the sex, you will get sand where you don’t want it.

Sincerely,

Mr. Bottle

Overall Rating for Sex on the Beach

Taste: 2
Presentation: 1
Ease of Preparation: 3
Drinks Until Blackout: 7 – 15% alcohol
Romance Score: 1

Ingredients

.5 oz Vodka
.5 oz Black Raspberry Liqueur
.5 oz Melon Liqueur
1 oz Pineapple Juice
.25 oz Cranberry Juice