Friday, April 22, 2011

Drink 99: Bad Cocktail Reason No. 1 (and 2 and 3 and 4)

East India Cocktail No 1
East India Cocktail Pick No. 1
Mr. Bottle isn’t feeling it today so I offered to fill in (I'm Mrs. Bottle for those first time readers out there- all none of you). Today’s drink is the East India Cocktail No. 1 and it’s made from brandy, pineapple juice, triple sec, Jamaican rum, and the all important dash of bitters. Basically this drink sucks. There are many reasons so let me get on with the enumeration.

No. 1: There is only ½ tsp. each of the pineapple juice and triple sec and 1 tsp. of the rum. What the hell is the point of that? All you can taste is brandy, brandy, brandy. This is like getting a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and there being a tiny pin-headed dot of peanut butter in the center. Might as well just have bought a Hershey’s bar. In this case, you would have poured yourself a shot of brandy.

No. 2: This whole idea that it’s ok to have a recipe with a tsp. or ½ tsp. of this stuff is absurd. It’s not easy to pour these amounts from a liter sized bottle. And you certainly won’t find those marks on your shot glass so have fun pouring into those tiny little spoons. So why put yourself through the pain for what No. 1 points out above. You can’t taste a ½ tsp. of anything.

This chart will help you see what I mean
No. 3: Brandy is not tasty. Not to get repetitive, but I cannot emphasize enough that as No. 1 points out, a ½ tsp. of a liquid is not going to impact the flavor of the drink. Sadly this resulted in a big swig of burning brandy down the gullet. I guess this point doesn’t apply if you like brandy but this is my list so it stays.

No. 4: The name of this drink is too long. And there’s no East India Cocktail No. 2 so I don’t get it.

Overall Rating for the East India Cocktail No. 1

Taste: 1 – Brandy, brandy, brandy
Presentation: 4
Ease of Preparation: 1 – Those teaspoons ruined it
Drinks Until Blackout: 3 – 37% Alcohol


1.5 oz Brandy
1 tsp Jamaican rum
½ tsp Pineapple juice
½ tsp Triple sec
Dash of Bitters


Chris said...

Someone's in a bad mood today and her name rhymes with "Mrs. Throttle".

MicHokie said...

I'm just telling it like it is

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