Monday, June 13, 2011

Drink 140: What Have We Done With Innocence?

Monkey Wrench Cocktail
We will look back
fondly on this picture
Today we try the Monkey Wrench, which is made from light rum and grapefruit juice.  The flavor evoked fond memories of the gin and grapefruit juice of the Greyhound, which we reviewed circa 11 days ago.  When I took my first sip of the Monkey Wrench I was caught in a wave of nostalgia for a simpler time in early June when we believed Weiner was hacked and LeBron James still had no NBA titles.  The Heat did win, right?

While reminiscing about the Greyhound, I remembered that it had me reminiscing about my first legal drink. The double look-back had me in a sepia-toned vortex of navel gazing.  Luckily the delicious and refreshing flavor of the Monkey Wrench pulled me back to the here and now.  The light rum and grapefruit juice blended perfectly and I’m sure it would make an excellent drink at breakfast time or on a hot day. Or at lunch time or on a cold day.  Surprisingly, it was even better than the Greyhound and that drink had the benefit of being viewed through the Vaseline-smeared lens of time.

How I remember
the Greyhound
I enjoy thinking about times past as much as the next person, but there comes a time when you should put the past aside and focus on the here and now. And that time has definitely arrived if you are thinking about going to an adult prom.  I am a little late to the party (heh), but I recently learned about this supposed trend and have to come out against it.  I have nothing against prom in general. In fact I went to prom twice in high school and at least one of those times my date did not have a horrible time as far as I know.  I’ve created a handy mnemonic to help you decide if you should go to adult prom:

Prom = fine, Adult Prom = sad.

Why would you want to do prom over again?  Are you upset you were not the prom queen?  Did all your classmates get immolated via telekinesis? Was your date secretly a girl pretending to be a boy and then she flashed everyone?   If any of those apply, I recommend you just get over it because going back to prom will not assuage those past indignities.  Even if you had a great time, you won’t be able to recreate it.  It definitely won’t seem as dangerous and fun to get drunk and have adult relations post-prom.  That is only fun at class reunions.

The one person that can legitimately go to adult prom is the adult-baby guy, but not until he is 45.

Overall Rating for the Monkey Wrench

Taste: 5
Presentation: 3
Ease of Preparation: 5 – Mrs. Bottle wanted to give it a 6
Drinks Until Blackout: 10 – 11% Alcohol


1.5 oz Light Rum
Grapefruit Juice

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